SVU partners
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: "Don't you want children?" No one knew how those words haunted Olivia Benson. A post 911 fic, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi, everyone. I'd like to start off by saying that I haven't watched a single episode of SVU since Chris Meloni left. SVU w/o Stabler just doesn't do anything for me. Benson and Stabler go together like PB&J, chocolate and peanut butter, etc. So it's ironic that my all-time favorite episode is 911 - because Meloni isn't in the episode at all! Anyway, I wrote this fic for me - and I know it's been done before, several different ways but I hope that I've done something a little different here and there. It's AU - Stabler's kids aren't in it, though they are mentioned. I was uncertain whether or not Elliot was separated by this time in the series so in my story, he's not - yet. I hope you all like it enough for me to post the whole story, but that's up to you. Enjoy.**

* * *

"Liv – Liv, wake up."

I groaned and tried to ignore whoever it was that was shaking my shoulder, burying my face deeper into the blankets.

"Liv, come on, you need to go home. Captain says you've been here all day-" the voice pleaded with me and fingers brushed hair out of my face.

I jumped to my feet at the intimate caress, chest heaving. "What the hell?" my eyes landed on my partner and I rubbed a hand across my eyes. "What are you doing here, El?"

"I came to check on you – I'm taking you home, Liv."

I sighed and turned away from his piercing stare to the still form of Maria in the hospital bed. Shaking my head, I reclaimed my seat. "Go home to your family, Elliot. I'm not leaving until she wakes up – and she's going to wake up."

"You need sleep."

I snorted. "Sleep is overrated – I can sleep when I'm dead."

With a low growl, Elliot grabbed my elbow and yanked me to my feet. "Listen to me, Liv. I know she got to you – that every time you close your eyes you dream that you're too late-"

"Fuck you, Stabler!" I hissed as I poked a finger in his chest. "You weren't there so don't you dare tell me you know how I feel-" my voice broke and I swallowed, trying hard to tamp down on the sobs that threatened to escape.

"You're right – I wasn't there this time. But don't think for a minute I don't know what you're going through. I'm a father, Liv, and we've had cases with how many Marias that we couldn't save?" He spun me around so I was facing the bed, staring down at Maria. "You saved her, Liv. The bastard buried her alive and you found her in time – hold on to that."

"El-" the tremors started and I didn't think they were ever going to stop this time.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me against his chest. _We don't do this – he isn't free to touch me like this. _Even as the thought crossed my mind, I raised my hands to wrap around his.

"I've already talked to the nurses and they've promised to call you the moment she wakes up," he whispered in my ear. "Let me take you home."

I nodded woodenly and let my partner steer me towards the door.

"O-liv-ia?"

With a cry of relief, I broke from Elliot's hold and ran back to Maria's bedside. I took her IV-free hand in mine. "Maria?"

Her dark eyes opened and gazed up at me blankly before she smiled shyly in recognition. "Olivia?"

Tears were streaming down my face, but I managed a smile in return. "Yes, it's me."

Maria frowned. "Why you cry?"

I laughed. "I'm just so happy to see you're awake." I pressed the call button for the nurse. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

I brushed some of her hair back. "That's normal." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Elliot shift in the doorway and Maria flinched in the bed. "It's okay, baby, that's my partner, Elliot. You don't have to be afraid of him."

Maria looked at him, her eyes wide with fear. "Richard?"

"He can't hurt you anymore."

"Promise?"

"I promise, baby."

* * *

**2 weeks later**

I downed the shot of tequila and ignored the pounding on my front door. I knew who it was and I really didn't want to answer it. I knew what he was going to say and I was in no mood for one of his pep talks. I'd been living in a dream world the past two weeks, visiting Maria in her foster home, and thinking that maybe I could apply to be her permanent foster mother. Everyone had warned me against forming too close of an attachment, that Maria's future in this country was uncertain but from the moment I picked up the phone, I had felt a connection to this girl that I just couldn't shake.

And now she was being deported.

Cragen had called me into his office this afternoon to let me know that Maria was being sent back to Honduras, back to her mother. I sighed as I poured myself another shot. There was only thing that was keeping me from getting good and hammered: I knew Maria missed her mother and she would be thrilled that she was going home. I was just being selfish, feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't keep her – that here was another opportunity for motherhood slipping through my fingers.

"_Don't you want children?"_

Maria's words haunted my waking hours until I thought I might do something desperate like grab some random guy off the street, take him home and-

"Olivia! Open this door! I know you're in there!"

I rolled my eyes. "Go away, Elliot! I don't want to talk." I grabbed the bottle of tequila and walked down the hall towards my bedroom as my cell rang. "Benson."

"Olivia, honey, this is Mrs. Grayson. I know you don't want to talk to your young man-"

I gritted my teeth. "He is not my young man-"

"Sorry, your partner. But some of us are trying to get some sleep. I'd call the police but since you are the police-"

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Grayson. I'll take care of it."

"Thank you, honey."

I swung open my front door and glared at my partner who had his fist raised to bang again. "You're disturbing the peace."

He grinned. "So arrest me."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Stabler? Get your ass in here before one of my neighbors calls the cops."

"We're the cops." He raised his foot and shut the door as he came inside, carrying Chinese takeout. "I hope you're hungry."

"I'm not."

He frowned at me as he began to unload the food on my coffee table. "I know you didn't eat before you left the station and unless you had something here – you haven't eaten. You can't drink your dinner, Liv."

I shrugged. "Watch me."

He snagged the bottle from my hand. "Sit." For a moment I faced him in defiance but then my stomach rumbled and he smirked. "Here, start with this." He slapped the carton of kung pao chicken in my hand. We ate in silence for several minutes before he broke it. "I'm sorry about Maria. I know you-"

"Don't."

"Liv-"

I slammed the chopsticks on the table. "I said don't, El. As in 'I don't want to talk about it,' all right? I appreciate you bringing dinner but I really don't want to listen to a pep talk right now – especially from you."

His eyebrows flew up. "What does that mean?"

I reached for the carton of orange sesame chicken. "Nothing."

"Oh no, you don't," he blocked my hand. "What did you mean you especially don't want to talk about it with me?"

I jumped to my feet. "Because you have a wife and kids, El – you have a family. I don't have anyone-"

"That's not true, Olivia. You have me, Fin, Munch, Cap – we're all your family."

I sighed. "That's not the same thing and you know it. At the end of the day, all of us go home – and who do I go home to? Nobody."

"Maria wasn't your last chance for a family."

I snorted as I grabbed the bottle and took a swig. "Don't bet on it. You are the longest relationship I've had with a man because the men I date can't handle what I do. And the adoption agencies freak out about my job because of the long hours I work."

Elliot took the bottle away from me. "You've talked to agencies." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, I've wanted this for a long time, El."

"So why don't you transfer to Computer Crimes, where the hours are more stable?"

I collapsed next to him on the couch. "You trying to get rid of me, Stabler?"

"No, but if this is something you really want-"

"It is."

He nodded, his eyes distant and unfocused.

I sighed. "I can't."

His eyes darted back to mine. "Why not?"

"You know why." _I can't leave you. _"I can't leave the victims – I can't leave the other Marias without an advocate, you know that. I feel like this is my calling."

He nodded as his hand reached out to brush against mine. "But motherhood is a great calling as well."

"How would you know?"

He laughed. "Touché – but I happen to know fatherhood is."

I swallowed as I noticed his hand was still resting against mine. "Elliot, have you thought about having any more kids?"

I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. His eyes fell and he moved his hand away so it was no longer touching mine. "I don't know, Liv. I mean, my kids are nearly grown and Kathy – well, you know we're not getting along. I don't want to repeat past mistakes and- what?" he stopped as he noticed my facial expression.

I was trying not to laugh. "I was just asking what you thought about more kids and you opened up to me for the first time in months. Who knew that's all it would take?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, well, caught me at a weak moment, I guess. But to answer your question – I love being a father and I love all my kids so I'm not against the idea of having more."

"Wow, Stabler that sounds like you're all in." I rolled my eyes.

"When it comes to my kids, I'm definitely all in."

Something about the way he was looking at me, made heat rise from my belly and I broke his gaze to look in the take out cartons. "Are there any egg rolls left?"

* * *

"So you're not saying I can't go?"

Cragen smiled. "Officially, I know nothing of this request. Unofficially, if you choose to take some of your vacation days and go to Honduras as a private citizen-" he shrugged.

I flew around his desk and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Don."

He flushed. "Get out of here before I change my mind."

"I'll see you in a week."

"No, Liv, take two. You deserve some down time. I think the building will still be standing when you get back."

I flashed another smile as I closed his door and crossed to my desk.

"You look happy."

My head snapped up to see Elliot studying me from his. I nodded. "I asked for some time off and Cragen agreed."

"Oh? Starting when?"

"Tomorrow." I began to straighten the files on my desk as I heard my partner approach.

"Don't do it."

I frowned. "Do what?"

He sighed. "You're going to Honduras with Maria, aren't you?"

I bit my lip.

"Don't torture yourself, Liv. Say good-bye to her here. If you accompany her it will just make it that much harder-"

"This is something I have to do, El."

"Why?"

"I need to know she's OK."

He frowned at me. "Of course she's OK. She's going home to her mother – the woman has been beside herself with worry ever since she found out Maria hasn't been with her father. She loves her daughter. Everything is going to be fine."

"I just have to be sure."

"Liv, what is it?" He reached out his hand. "What aren't you telling me? Is there something about her that reminds-"

"Don't. I just need to go with her, all right? Then I'll spend a few days in the sun, relaxing and forgetting and then I'll come home. I'll be fine." I picked up my empty coffee cup and left my stunned partner perched on the edge of my desk.

* * *

I met Maria and Ms. Hernandez, the American Embassy attaché from Honduras before sunrise at JFK. Maria was glad to see me but all she could talk about was going home and seeing mama. I knew it was going to be difficult but this was something I had to do. Making sure Maria was safe was closing the case – and I always closed my cases. Maria said goodbye to her foster mother just before we went through security and then she held my hand as she skipped down the long hallways, already crowded despite the early morning hour. Ms. Hernandez was very helpful in getting us through customs but she got a call just before we went through.

"Is something wrong?"

Ms. Hernandez shook her dark head. "No, I was just informed that we are waiting for one more person to join our party and then we can board."

"Who?"

"Ah, there he is."

I turned and saw my partner weaving through the crowd, his arm lifted in greeting.

* * *

"Are you going to give me the silent treatment all the way to Honduras?"

I glared at him and he smirked. "What are you doing here, Elliot?"

"I'm on vacation, same as you."

"The hell you are – I don't need a babysitter."

The smirk slipped from his face. "I know that. I'm here as your friend, your partner. I'm here to be whatever you need: a punching bag or a listening ear. I didn't want you going alone on this one."

I blinked back the tears. "You're a cocky bastard, you know that? I already told you I'm fine."

"I don't believe you."

Turning my head to be sure Maria was really asleep across the aisle, I hissed. "You weren't even there, Elliot. This is my case and I don't need your help to close it."

To my surprise, he closed the distance between us and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "We're partners, Liv, and this is what partners do. Like it or not, I'm here for you."

I jerked back from the intimate contact, my pulse racing. "I'm tired."

He nodded. "Get some sleep. We won't be landing for a few hours yet."

* * *

Maria's reunion with her mama was straight out of the fairytales: the two of them ran into each other's arms, laughing and crying and vowing never to let each other go ever again. Her mama thanked me profusely for bringing Maria back to her.

"De nada," I whispered, my throat tight with emotion.

Maria squeezed me tight. "I will never forget you. You saved me from Richard. Thank you."

I held her for a moment before letting go. "You're welcome."

And then she was gone.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was standing in an airport in Honduras, surrounded by people, I would have crumbled to my knees right there. Ms. Hernandez offered the use of the embassy's car to drive us to our hotel and in a daze I heard Elliot accept. I felt him take my elbow and steer me to the car, help me inside and we were off.

I don't remember the drive to the hotel or saying goodbye to Ms. Hernandez. I don't remember checking in or the ride up to our rooms. The next thing I was conscious of was Elliot sitting me down on the bed, him kneeling at my feet to take off my sandals.

"She's gone," I whispered.

"Yes." My shoes hit the floor with a thud and he pressed his hands on my shoulders. "Lie down."

I curled onto my left side. "She's OK, right?"

"Yes." He walked around the bed and picking up the part of the bedspread that I wasn't laying on, he folded it over the top of me. "Are you?"

"No." The tremors started until the bed shook beneath me. "I – I'm sorry, I think you should go."

"Not a chance." He toed off his shoes and I felt the bed dip under his weight. A minute later, I felt his fingers in my hair, smoothing it back from my face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

He sighed. "About why you're not OK – about why you're not sleeping. About why you had to come to Honduras to make sure Maria was OK." He paused. "Olivia, we've had lots of cases where the victims have gotten under your skin but none of them have gotten to you like Maria."

I scooted closer, wrapping myself tighter in the bedspread. His thigh was under my cheek and I felt him tense, but he didn't move away. _We don't do this – we don't touch each other like this. What's happening? _I swallowed. "You were right – Maria does remind me of myself."

His hand fell to my head and I didn't have to look up to know that his jaw was clenched. "You mean, your mother's boyfriends used to-"

"No." I was quick to reassure him, and I felt the tension leave his body. "No, I was never sexually assaulted. But there was this one guy-" I paused as the tremors started again.

His hand left my hair and fell to my shoulder, rubbing over the spread. "Tell me."

"I was a sophomore in high school and mom was dating this guy named Chad. You remember that she taught English?" I waited until I felt his nod. "Well, Chad was the football coach that spring and they got hot and heavy. He was blond and buff and gorgeous – well, mom thought so anyway. I thought he was creepy because of the way he looked at me and all the other teenage girls."

"You mean he was a pedophile."

I nodded. "Of course, I didn't know the term back then, I just knew he gave me the creeps. Anyway, he used to come by the apartment an hour or two before their dates and hang out, said he was in the neighborhood and might as well just come on over. Once I figured out what he was doing I tried not to be there, or tried not to be alone, but it didn't always work." I paused to gather my thoughts and Elliot squeezed my shoulders. "He would tell me how beautiful I was and that I should be a model and that he could take some pictures – send them in to some agencies since he was an amateur photographer." I couldn't stop shaking now and Elliot pulled me into his chest.

"You don't have to finish, Liv. I know how these stories end-"

"It's OK, I want to tell you." I swallowed as tears began to fall down my face. "I told him no and he backed off at first but grew more and more insistent as time went by and one afternoon mom came home to find me fighting him off. He – he had his zipper down and was trying-" I broke off and turned my head, burying it in the blanket. I could feel the tension radiating off my partner but he didn't say anything as he slowly rocked us back and forth. "Needless to say mom flew into a rage and screamed at both of us and Chad left, saying they were through. Mom ended up blaming me, of course. She got falling down drunk – and that's the night she came after me with an empty bottle and I ended up almost killing her." The sobs overtook me and for a long time I cried in his arms.

I don't know how long I cried or how long he held me but when I tried to move, El's arms tightened around me. "So that's why Maria got under your skin so much – and why you identify with her so strongly."

I nodded weakly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Liv. I wish I'd been there when you were growing up-"

"To do what? You were just a kid yourself, El, and I know you didn't have an easy childhood yourself." I moved out of his arms to curl up on my other side facing away from him. "I think I can sleep now."

I felt his hand rest on my back. "Don't shut me out – not now."

My eyes drifted shut. "I – so tired, El. Please."

His sigh was loud in the stillness of the hotel room. "Sweet dreams, Liv."

* * *

"Another tequila sunrise, senorita?"

I smiled. "I think not, thank you, Juan."

"If you need anything, just let me know."

I grinned, looking at him over the top of my sunglasses. "Oh, I will." I licked my lips and watched as he sauntered away to take care of the other guests by the pool. _I wonder if this is really a full service hotel. _I couldn't help but blush at the turn my thoughts had taken and my attention was drawn to my partner as he emerged dripping from the pool. He was instantly surrounded by a couple of women, offering him towels and smiles and God only knows what else. He smiled back, took one of the towels, and shook his head, nodding in my direction. Mere moments later, he collapsed into the empty lounger at my right.

"Don't let me cramp your style, Elliot," I frowned at the book in my hand, not bothering to glance in his direction. "I'm sure I could find things to occupy my time while you entertained one of those lovely senoritas."

"Oh, and by 'things', I suppose you mean Juan?"

I turned a page. "What if I do?"

"Perhaps now wouldn't be the best time to mention that he's playing tonsil hockey with his boyfriend behind the cabana over there."

I gasped and dropped my book, looking in the direction Elliot had indicated. The sight that might my eyes was enough to make me blush and drop my large sun hat over my eyes. "Well, I, he's not my only prospect," I stammered. "I met a very nice man at brunch – he's even from New York. You, on the other hand are married – or have you forgotten?"

His jaw clenched. "I have not."

"I think those women have." A waiter placed a tropical drink at Elliot's elbow and nodded at a woman across the way. I laughed. "See?"

"Liv, what's going on?"

I blinked at his sudden change in topic. "What do you mean?"

"We've been on vacation for a week now and except for the first night when you opened up to me, you've hardly said a word to me since. You've been very careful not to be alone with me. You've made a point to flirt with all kinds of men and I haven't said a word but when women start to flirt with me, you accuse me of being some kind of Don Juan."

I laughed. "I'm just relaxing, having a good time – I'm on vacation. You should try it. You're wound up tighter than-" I waved my hand. "I don't know, maybe you need to get laid."

He grabbed my wrist and I gasped. "Will you stop with the sexual innuendo? Are you trying to bait me? Do you want me to take you upstairs and-" He broke off, his voice low and tense.

My heart was racing. Had I really been goading him all week – secretly hoping that he would snap and just-

I ripped free from his grasp. "I'm going to go lie down before I get ready for dinner."

"Olivia, I'm worried about you. You're sleeping more than usual-"

I sighed. "First I wasn't sleeping enough and now I'm sleeping too much? I can't seem to win with you."

"And you're drinking more than-"

I slammed my book shut and began packing up my pool things. "I can hold my liquor, Elliot. I am not my mother."

Suddenly, he was in my space, capturing my hands in his. "I know that – but I'm worried about you. It's OK to be sad she's gone, Liv-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Will you at least admit you're sad?"

I sighed. "Why? What good will that serve?"

"Because you'll let it out – you're holding it all inside and I'm afraid that if you keep holding it in, you'll explode."

"You're one to talk about holding things inside! I'm fine, Stabler."

"No, you're not. Talk to me."

"What more is there to say? You know what I want – and you can't help me get it."

"Are you asking for my help?"

I recoiled at his words. Want and desire and lust were thick in my belly and I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around him and tell him to take me upstairs right now – but I couldn't. I wasn't the most religious girl, but Elliot was a good Catholic boy and even though his marriage was on the rocks, that ring was still on his finger. But he had still said the words and he was looking at me with eyes full of – what were his eyes trying to tell me?

"Olivia?" he whispered.

I stood. "No, I'm not. I'm going to go lie down and you're going to swim some more laps and try to remember you're a married man."

* * *

"Olivia, you look ravishing this evening."

I smiled at James, the man I had met at brunch this morning. "Thank you. Are you on your way to dinner, or have you already eaten?"

"I was just about to order something and take it up to my room– but I could be persuaded to eat in the dining room if you'll be my date. What do you say?"

Over James' shoulder, I saw Elliot at the bar, nursing a Jack and Coke, trying not to look bored as one of his many female admirers chatted in his ear. He saw me and waved, sending SOS signals but I ignored him as I refocused my attention on James. "That sounds wonderful."

Elliot scowled as we walked past, James' hand on the small of my back, which was bare due to the fact that I was wearing a backless sundress.

I confess I really didn't pay that much attention to what James talked about over dinner – since I was trying to keep track of where Elliot and his 'date' were and James' job as a stockbroker was a boring subject. After dinner, there was dancing but James had barely taken me in his arms before Elliot cut in.

"Is that the man you were talking about earlier?"

"Yes."

He snorted. "Looks like a nerd."

"For your information, he's a stockbroker on Wall Street."

"So he says – did he show you any identification?"

I gasped. "Elliot! I'm not down here as a cop – I'm here as a private citizen on vacation. James is a very nice man – and I hope you haven't ruined our evening with your caveman attitude. I really need to-" I blundered to a stop and blushed.

He stopped our swaying motion. "To what? Fuck? Blow off steam with that prick?"

I wrenched myself out of his arms. "How dare you!" I hissed. "Just because you're my partner does not give you the right to dictate how I run my life!" I strode off the dance floor, looking for James.

Elliot grabbed my elbow and steered me towards the elevators. "The hell it doesn't! We're outside the US, in a foreign country-"

"James is an American!"

"So he says!"

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to one of your jealous rants – you're not old enough to be my father and you already have a wife-"

"Leave Kathy out of this," he growled as he jabbed the elevator button.

"Why?"

"Because she's not here and I don't want to think about her right now." The doors opened and he dragged me inside. "Not while I'm doing this."

My heart was pounding so loud in my ears I was sure he could hear it. "Doing-"

The rest of my words were cut off as my partner's lips met mine for the very first time. I gasped and his tongue instantly invaded my mouth, stealing my breath and making me weak in the knees. His arms curled around my waist, his fingers playing with the skin of my lower back. I moaned into his mouth as my hands wandered up to his hair, pulling his head back to pant against lips, "El, what are you doing?"

The elevator stopped and the doors opened as the car arrived on our floor. Elliot laced our fingers together and led me down the hall to his room, opening the door with his key card. Once we were on the other side, he took me back in his arms and gave me a series of short, passionate kisses from my forehead to my eyes to my nose to my mouth. I was nearly jelly in his hands by the time he was through. He reached for the ties of my sundress and it was then that my brain re-engaged enough to place my hands over his.

"Elliot?"

He sighed and led me to the bed, sitting down and pulling me into his lap. "If I hadn't cut in on your dance with James, what would the two of you be doing right now?"

I smiled. "Do you really need me to draw you a picture?"

He shook his head. "You don't know anything about him, Liv. I know this is how you dull the pain, blow off steam. But I hate to see you take such risks with guys you don't know – especially in foreign countries."

"I'm always careful – I take all the necessary precautions. Besides, I don't see how any of this is really your business."

"You're my partner, Liv, of course it's my business."

"Is that really all we are?" I whispered, leaning forward to brush my lips against his.

He nodded. "It's all we can be – for now."

I sighed and tried to get up. "Then I need to go and find James."

He held me tight. "No."

"Damn it, El! Let me go – you can't give me what I need-"

In a surprisingly swift move, he stood and pinned me beneath him on the bed. "I didn't say that. I'm saying I can't give you tomorrow – and I'm a bastard for wanting tonight, Liv. But I do. Let me give you tonight. Don't go find James – stay here with me. I promise I'll make it worth your while."

I gasped as his hands cupped my breasts and my arms wound around his neck. "Is this something partners do?"

His eyes darkened to midnight blue. "It is tonight."

* * *

**Reviews are LOVE - but no flames, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Since a handful of you are interested in this story, I will continue. Here's Part 2. . . .**

* * *

**6 weeks later**

_Elliot's hands traced a path down from my shoulders to my breasts to my stomach to my upper thighs and skated around where I wanted his touch the most._

"_El, don't tease me."_

"_What do you want, Liv?"_

"_Uh, you know what I want."_

_He laughed. "I want to hear you say it."_

_I pulled him up to my mouth. "You're going to be the death of me."_

_He smirked. "But what a way to go."_

The ringing of my cell brought me out of my dream that was more memory than not, leaving me flushed, aroused, and frustrated. With a groan my fingers reached for the current source of my irritation. "Benson," I mumbled.

"We got a body."

I sat up, trying to ignore the way my own body now responded to my partner's voice – it was way beyond unprofessional. "Where?"

"West end of Central Park."

"All right – I should be there in twenty."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry to have to call you – how are you feeling?"

"Better – I must have just eaten something that didn't agree with me."

Elliot laughed. "That's the last time we let John order lunch. You do know he ordered from Ralph's Pagoda again, don't you?"

I groaned. "Was he trying to give us all food poisoning?"

"Do you want me to pick you up coffee?"

My stomach rolled over at the word. "No, I think I'll skip it for now. See you in a little while."

* * *

"Hey, baby girl, how you feeling?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Well, I heard that the crime scene had you a little green around the gills this morning."

"Lay off my partner, Fin. If it hadn't been for your partner giving her food poisoning, she wouldn't have tossed her cookies."

I laughed. "Wow, thanks guys. I was embarrassed enough before but now-" I shook my head.

Cragen stuck his head out of his office door. "Olivia, can I see you for a moment?"

"Uh oh, you're in for it now," Fin whispered.

"I haven't done anything," I protested as I walked towards the office. "What's up, Captain?"

"Are you feeling OK?"

I smiled. "I'm fine. I guess you heard about this morning?"

He nodded. "You haven't thrown up at a crime scene since your first day on the job- are you sick?"

I shook my head. "No – Munch ordered from Ralph's Pagoda yesterday-"

Cragen held up his hand. "Say no more. Why don't you take the rest of the day, go home and rest."

"I hate to leave the boys alone without a referee on a brand new case-"

He smiled. "They'll manage just fine for a day. I mean it's not like you're going to be gone for months on maternity leave."

I smiled weakly. "No sir, nothing like that."

* * *

"All right, Olivia, I got your text and I'm here with pizza but I don't see the beer. So what's up?"

I handed Alex the little white bag from the drugstore and took a huge bite from a slice while she opened it. Her eyes met mine and her mouth dropped open. "You're kidding me."

I shook my head.

"Why three?"

"I had a false positive back in college – I'm not going to make that mistake again. I want to be sure this time."

"So you haven't taken them yet?"

I shook my head again. "I was waiting for you."

"Why? Do you need me to hold your hand or something?"

"Because I'm really going to need the morale support if I am-"

"And if you're not?"

"Then we'll get out the liquor and get shit-faced."

"And either way I get to hear the story."

I bit my lip but nodded.

"All right then, go pee on those sticks."

I rolled my eyes but grabbed the bag back and trotted off to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, I was back, holding three positive tests. Alex took one look at my face and threw her arms around me, squealing in my ear.

"Congratulations?"

I laughed. "Is that a question?"

"I don't know how you feel about it – so yeah, it's kind of a question at this point."

I sighed as I moved back to the couch, dropping the tests onto the coffee table, curling my feet under me. "I'm happy about being pregnant but it's going to really complicate my life."

"You mean at work?"

I nodded. "I won't be able to work at SVU anymore. The hours are too long and unpredictable. Maybe I can transfer to Computer Crimes or another department but still stay at the 1-6."

Alex grabbed a beer from the fridge and came back to join me in the living room. "That sucks, Liv. I know how much you want to be there for the victims – and how much your partnership with Elliot means to you."

I winced. "Oh God, Elliot."

"What? What is it?"

I smiled. "I can't believe you haven't asked me yet who the father is."

Alex grinned. "Hey, I can be sensitive. I was going to wait another two minutes before I started begging for details."

I laughed before I reached for my pizza and began picking at the toppings. "It's Elliot."

Alex nearly choked on her beer. "You're shitting me."

I shook my head.

She set her beer down on the table. "You have my undivided attention, Liv. Spill and don't leave anything out."

When I finished telling her, Alex sat there staring at me for several long moments. "And you've never talked about it since then?"

"Nope." I sighed. "It's almost like I dreamed the whole thing except for the fact that I woke up in Elliot's bed the next morning and I was very, very sore – in a good way," I grinned.

"Damn girl – how was he? On a scale of one to ten?"

"Twenty-five."

Alex sighed. "It's always the good Catholic boys."

"Don't forget the 'married' part," I winced. "He and Kathy reconciled a couple of weeks after we got back."

"Bastard." Alex took a swig of beer. "I suppose you have to tell him."

"He'll figure it out once I start to show – and I don't want him to find out that way."

"What about Cragen and the boys?"

I sighed. "I guess I'll let Elliot make that decision. I don't care who knows – I'm not ashamed of what we did and I'm going to put his name on the baby's birth certificate but I understand that for everyone to know he's the father will end his marriage. And I don't want to hurt him-"

"God, Liv, I don't understand how you can say that! He knocked you up and then went back home to his wife! How can you be so forgiving?"

"I love him," I whispered. "I've always loved him. I know its wrong – that he's a married man and I can't have him. But he's given me a wonderful gift – maybe that was his plan all along."

Alex frowned at me. "What are you talking about?"

"I was devastated when I lost Maria – Elliot knew that. I'd also told him that the adoption agencies were hesitant to give me a child because of my job. Maybe-"

"Wait- are you seriously thinking he knocked you up on purpose? Liv, that's crazy!"

I shook my head. "You're right – it's nuts. There must be some other explanation for what happened that night. I'll just have to ask him."

* * *

"Elliot, you didn't have to do this."

He frowned at me, the candlelight turning his eyes into dark pools. "Olivia, it's your birthday."

I shook my head. "But this place is too expensive – especially for a father of four-" _soon to be five. _

He waved a finger at me. "You let me worry about that."

The waiter set my plate in front of me. "Linguine with clams for the lady and for the gentleman filet mignon with scalloped potatoes; bon appétit."

I dug into my pasta with relish and groaned as the delicious flavors hit my tongue. Looking up, I caught Elliot watching me. "What?"

"Nothing – it's just nice to see you're over your bout of food poisoning."

I swallowed, the pasta going down and settling heavy in my stomach. "This food is delicious – you should eat before yours gets cold, El."

We ate in silence, broken only by a few words here and there of no importance. I knew that I had missed my first opportunity to tell him I was pregnant but I didn't want to do it so early in the evening and ruin the meal. When he told me this morning that he had made reservations for my birthday and that he'd pick me up at seven and to dress formally, I could hardly believe it. What must his wife be thinking?

"Penny for your thoughts."

I smiled. "I was just wondering what Kathy thought about you taking your partner out to this fancy restaurant for her birthday."

"Kathy's working at the hospital tonight and she understands that you-" he blundered to a stop, flushing to the top of his head.

I suddenly felt cold as I reached for my water glass. "That I don't have anyone else?"

He sighed. "That's not what I meant."

"Isn't it?"

"No. I was going to say that she understands how important you are to me."

The warmth was back in my belly as he looked at me with heat in his gaze and I wondered how much Kathy did know. "So she knows about Honduras?"

He flinched. "No."

"I see. So she doesn't completely understand."

"Olivia, why are we spending your birthday talking about Kathy?"

I bit my lip. "All right, let's talk about something else then – I went to see my doctor today."

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Reasonably – but I needed confirmation for some home tests I took a couple of days ago."

"Home tests –" Elliot's face blanched. "Liv, are you-"

"Yes, Elliot. I'm pregnant."

"Excuse me, sir, would you like any dessert?" the waiter asked, as he stopped by our table.

Elliot shook his head. "No, just the check, please."

* * *

I had lain awake for hours every night since I had taken the tests picturing how Elliot would take the news; I hadn't for one minute thought he wouldn't believe me.

As soon as my apartment door closed behind us, he began to pace my small living room. "Maybe it's a false positive."

"I took three tests from three different brands just to be sure, Elliot. All of them came up positive," I explained patiently as I stepped out of my heels and walked over to the couch, curling up on one end. "My OB-GYN drew blood and confirmed elevated hormone levels. She also did an exam – I am seven weeks pregnant."

Elliot scrubbed a hand across his face before he locked eyes with me and I was stunned at the panic I saw in them. "Maybe – maybe I'm not the father."

The joy I'd felt ever since I'd learned I was pregnant fled at his words. I got to my feet and walked past him to the door and yanked it open. "Get out."

"Liv-"

"Don't 'Liv' me," I hissed. "I understand this comes out of the blue and is a lot to absorb but don't you dare stand there and accuse me of sleeping with someone else that week. You know damn well that you were the only one I was with – the only one I wanted-" my voice broke.

Elliot's arms went around me, pulling me into his chest as he shut the door with one hand. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Liv. I didn't mean it. I'm such a bastard."

"Yes, you are," I sniffled into his neck as he swept me up into his arms and carried me to the couch, placing me gently on the cushions. I managed to capture his lips briefly before he pulled away and sat down on the other end of the couch. "What do you want to do about this, El?"

"About the baby?"

I nodded.

"I assume you're going to keep it?"

I smiled and nodded again.

"I'll support you and the baby in whatever way I can, Liv, but I can't – things with Kathy and the kids just got – I can't –"

I shifted closer to him and placed my finger on his lips. "Shh, I know, El. But I need you to know that I'm not going to lie on this baby's birth certificate. I'm going to list you as the father. No one else needs to know, though. I can just tell people that the baby's father is some one night stand from Honduras."

"James the stockbroker?"

"He's local – if I say it's him, Fin may hunt him down and kill him."

"Good point. You're not in this alone, you know – I'm going to be here for you and our child, I promise."

"I know, El."

* * *

"Thanks for coming with me, Lex."

"No problem. I mean, it's not like the father could come-"

"Lex-"

"Right, sorry."

"He's doing the best he can. You should see all the supplies and clothes and things he's bought already – I'm feeling very pampered."

"You know that's just his guilt talking, right?"

"Alex!"

"Olivia Benson?"

I stood and followed the nurse into the back examining rooms. After Dr. Flowerday asked general questions about how I was feeling, she asked if I was ready to get the first glimpse of my baby.

I grinned. "I'm more than ready." The gel was cold but once the probe was on my stomach, I forgot everything but looking at the monitor for my baby. Dr. Flowerday frowned.

"Olivia, I think we might have a slight problem."

Alex gripped my hand as I felt the room tilt. "What is it? Is something wrong with my baby?"

Dr. Flowerday shook her head. "No – but I think we need to talk about multiple births."

* * *

I came back to the 1-6 in a daze. Elliot and I had made the decision together not to tell anyone about my pregnancy until I was safely in the second trimester just in case I miscarried. Today that fear was the last thing on my mind as the news from the doctor's appointment went round and round my head like a bouncy ball.

"Hey, baby girl, how was your dentist's appointment?" Fin grinned at me. "Did you have any cavitities?"

I frowned at him and then I saw Elliot grinning in the background and I realized this was the cover story he had come up with for me. "Uh, no. Clean bill of health."

Fin was satisfied but I could tell that Elliot's radar was locked onto me and wasn't letting go. I passed his desk and he caught my hand. "Everything OK?" he whispered.

Suddenly the fear and panic and rage bubbled out of me and I shoved him in the chest, hard. He went rolling back in his desk chair, a stunned expression on his face.

"This is all your fault!" I yelled at him as I turned and took the steps to the roof two at a time. I could hear Fin telling Elliot to fix whatever was wrong as I slammed open the door, the cold frigid air hitting me like needles. I ran to the edge and looked out over the city, knowing that I had at the most five minutes before my partner followed me up here. And I wanted him to – I wanted his arms around me, holding me, telling me that it was going to be OK, that we could handle this together. But that was the problem, wasn't it? We weren't together, and I was going to have to handle it on my own – just like I had handled everything else my entire life. Why did I think being a mother would be any different? Just because it was Elliot's-

"Hey."

I jumped at the sound of his voice. "Hey."

"What happened at the doctor's, Liv? You have no idea how much I wanted to go with you so I wouldn't have to be asking you – I'd already know."

I pulled the sonogram picture out of my back pocket and handed it to him.

"Is this our baby?"

I snorted. "Look again, El. I don't think you know how to count."

"How to- oh my God," he breathed out slowly. "Liv, tell me what I'm seeing here because the picture's fuzzy. Am I really seeing-"

I turned to face him for the first time. "Triplets. Congratulations, daddy."

Elliot traced the picture lovingly, his fingers trembling. "Triplets." He shook his head. "Identical?"

I shook my head. "Dr. Flowerday saw two placentas so that means-"

"Twins and a sibling – oh, Liv," he reached out a trembling hand to my stomach. "You're going to start showing soon."

I slapped his hand away. "That's the least of my worries, Elliot! How in the hell am I going to handle triplets? Triplets! That's one more baby than I have hands! I can't do this alone – I can't!" my voice had risen with each word until I was shouting, not paying any attention to who might overhear.

"Hush, Liv," Elliot drew me into an embrace and I clung to him, the sonogram picture trapped between us. "You can do this – you're the strongest woman I know. And you're not alone – you have a family that will help you and you have me."

I shook my head against his shoulder. "No I don't – not really. Not the way I want."

He groaned. "Liv-"

I pulled back to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry, El – but I have to ask: that night in Honduras – why did you sleep with me? Was it just to keep me safe? Were you jealous of James and wanted me all to yourself, even though you're a married man? Or were you hoping that you'd knock me up and give me a baby that night, so I wouldn't be alone anymore?"

He cupped the side of my face. "All of the above?"

I stepped closer, until our breaths were intermingled. "And now what do you want?"

The door flew open and Fin yelled at us as I stepped back from my partner. "Hey guys! We finally got a lead! You coming?"

"Be right there!" I yelled back.

Elliot grabbed my hand and held up the sonogram. "Can I keep this?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Where are you going to put it so you know who doesn't see it?"

He lifted my hand and kissed it. "I bought you a baby book."

I smiled. "Just don't let the boys find it."

* * *

"What brings you by my office, Olivia?"

I sat on the edge of Huang's sofa, nervously picking an imaginary piece of lint from my slacks. "I – listen, I need to know something before we start."

George nodded.

"I need to know that whatever I say in here isn't going to get back to Cragen-"

"Olivia, you're protected by doctor patient confidentiality. I can't discuss anything you tell me with anyone – I took an oath."

I snorted. "That's never stopped you before – there are ways around that oath, Huang."

He sighed. "Yes, but may I remind you that you came to me – Captain Cragen didn't order you to come so I'm not under any obligation to report our session to him, all right?"

I nodded.

"So, what's on your mind?"

I bit my lip. "I'm pregnant."

George smiled. "Congratulations – I know that you've wanted a child for some time. Have you told the father?"

I nodded. "That's a big part of why I came to you instead of going to an outsider – you already know all the people involved. Elliot's the father."

"I see."

"You must think I'm a slut – a whore!" I cried as I jumped to my feet and began to pace.

"Is that how you see yourself?"

I shook my head. "No, but I know that's what people are going to say when they find out – and you know it's going to come out sooner or later. Kathy is going to take El's kids away from him and that will just destroy him. The last thing I wanted was to destroy his life-"

"What do you want?"

My hand flitted down to rest over my stomach and I smiled. "I want these babies-"

"You're having twins?"

I laughed. "If only – no Huang, triplets. Can you believe it? Elliot gave me a triple tap." I ran a hand through my hair. "They are barely the size of jelly beans, but I love them already."

"That's normal, Olivia. Your mother's instincts are kicking in."

I nodded. "I just wish I didn't feel so out of control."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I answered the phone and heard Maria's voice on the other end, I feel like I've been riding a roller coaster and I can't get off. I was so scared that I wasn't going to find her in time – before that bastard killed her – and I almost didn't. And then I thought she wouldn't wake up – but she did. And then I thought maybe I could apply to be her foster mother but she ended up getting deported – which ended up being a good thing since she reunited with her mother." I sat back down on the couch and looked at Huang. "And then I had sex with Elliot and he knocked me up – it's been a crazy couple of months."

"Olivia, I'm going to ask you again: what do you want?"

"I want what I can't have," I whispered.

"You mean Elliot."

I nodded, my throat too tight to form his name.

"Have you told him how you feel?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

"For the very simple reason that he won't leave his wife and kids just because I happen to be carrying his children; and I refuse to complicate our situation further by asking him to choose. I couldn't bear it if he didn't choose me – and what kind of woman asks the married man that she slept with one night to leave his wife for her? No, Huang, I have to find the strength somewhere to raise these kids on my own – with just some assistance from Uncle Elliot."

"And you can live with that? Going this alone?"

I rubbed my stomach lovingly. "I'm not alone anymore."

* * *

**A/N: Whoa, lots happened in this chapter. Drop me a review when you catch your breath! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story - I didn't dare hope for such a positive response. Here's the next part.**

* * *

"You're going to need a bigger apartment." Alex's eyes roamed my tiny living room as she munched on the pasta I'd made for dinner. "I mean, this place is fine for a swinging single gal but where on earth are you going to put three babies?"

"They're not going to take up much space, Lex."

She looked at me in disbelief. "You do realize they don't stay that size forever, right? I mean, eventually, they will be teenagers and they'll want their own rooms and-"

"Alex, stop!" I pleaded. "I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that I'm carrying triplets, OK?"

"Hey, you wanted moral support and as your friend, I feel it's my duty to help you start planning. We've only got six months and-"

She was interrupted by a knock on my door and I leapt to my feet. I didn't care who it was, as long as it got Alex to shut up.

"Hey, we never got to finish our talk this morning and I was hoping-" Elliot's eyes landed on Alex and his jaw clenched. "I can come back later."

"Oh look who it is," Alex drawled. "Daddy."

I grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him into the apartment. "Play nice, you two. You're welcome to stay for dinner, El. It's nothing fancy, just spaghetti and salad."

He held up a paper bag. "I must have read your mind – I brought gelato."

"Espresso?" I whispered.

He smirked. "Maybe. You'll just have to wait and see, Benson." He shoved the bag into my crowded freezer and grabbed a plate from my cupboard.

Alex glared daggers at him but held her tongue through the meal. I tried to make small talk but neither of them cooperated so eventually I gave up.

"You're not eating much, Liv."

I looked up to see El's concerned face watching me as I pushed the food around on my plate. I gave up the pretense of eating and set it to the side. "Evenings are when I feel the most queasy."

"Oh – sorry."

"You should be," Alex mumbled around a bite. "It's your fault."

"Lex!" I protested as I kicked her ankle. "It is not all Elliot's fault – I'm just as much to blame. It takes two, remember?"

"Yeah, counselor – or has it been that long since you got any?" Elliot leered at her.

"I hope that's not an offer, Stabler-"

"Guys, please!" I rubbed my temples. "I'm really not feeling well. Could you please stop?"

Alex looked guilty. "Sorry, Liv. Do you want us to go?"

I nodded. "Please." I reached for the afghan on the back of my couch and curled up as Alex began to clean up the plates and food. I heard Elliot in my kitchen, washing dishes and for a moment I felt guilty, knowing I should be out there helping but it passed and I snuggled further into my blanket. I don't know how long I drifted in and out of consciousness but I knew some time had passed when I opened my eyes to see Elliot doing paperwork and watching a ball game on TV without sound.

"What time is it?" I yawned and blinked in the low light of the room.

"A little after midnight."

I gasped. "What are you still doing here? I told you to go home, El."

"Relax, Liv. We're on call, remember? What's the difference between my doing paperwork here or at the station?"

I snorted. "I think your wife would see a major difference, Stabler."

He cocked his head and continued to stare at me. "Why do you keep bringing up Kathy?"

"Because you seem to keep forgetting you're married!" I groaned as I rolled over. "Please, just go. I'm going to try and get some more sleep before we get called in."

"Do you know something I don't?"

"Huh?"

"You seem sure that we'll get called in."

"Elliot, do you remember the last time we were on call and didn't get called in to a crime scene?" I mumbled into my blanket.

Before he could answer, both of our phones went off.

"Fuck!" I moaned as I rolled to my feet, then sat back down as the room tilted on its side.

Elliot was suddenly right in front of me, his hands cupping my face. "Liv, what is it? You OK?"

I sighed, trying not to respond to the touch of his hands on my body. "I'm fine – the room just tilted for a minute."

He frowned. "I don't think you should go out tonight – I'll call Fin, see if he can cover you."

I jerked out of his hold. "The hell you will! I'm not some delicate flower, Elliot. I got a little dizzy when I stood up, that's all – it happens to lots of people, including people who aren't pregnant."

"Olivia-"

"No! I'm not going to let you start being all overprotective and overbearing and 'Elliot' already – not yet. I'm not even showing. There will be plenty of time for you and Cragen and the boys to tell me to rest and put my feet up when I'm stuck on desk duty. Until then, back the hell off." I shoved him in the chest, hard, as I stood and went to pick up my phone.

Elliot cleaned up the files he had been working on as I called the captain back to find out where our crime scene was. I quickly changed into a sweater and slacks, and when I came out of my bedroom, I found my partner waiting for me by the front door.

Clipping my badge to my hip, I reached for the doorknob but Elliot's hand covered mine. "Wait, Liv, before we go – can I say something?"

I clenched my teeth. "What?"

"It's just that – well, I've been through this before – pregnancy, I mean-" he swallowed.

I raised my eyebrows. "You have experience being pregnant, Stabler?"

He grinned. "You know what I mean, Liv. I know all about the hormones, morning sickness, and dizziness – what to expect, how long it lasts, what's normal and what isn't. I just –" he cleared his throat. "I know you can take care of yourself – but if your symptoms get worse or last longer than normal, I want you to tell me, all right?"

_Damn it – the man's appealing to the welfare of our children – how can I fight that?_

I sighed. "All right."

* * *

"You ready?"

I shook my head. "But I've run out of time. My pants were a little tight this morning."

Elliot choked on his coffee. "Seriously – already?"

"I swear, Stabler, if I wasn't knocked up I'd take you to the gym and wipe that grin off your face right now."

He shook a finger at me. "No martial arts until after the-"

"Good morning, Stabler, Benson," Cragen smiled as he walked into the bullpen. "You're both here bright and early this morning – something on your mind?"

I swallowed. Today marked thirteen weeks of my pregnancy and when I was fastening my pants this morning, I noticed they were a little snug – not much, but I still noticed. Part of me was giddy with excitement, part of me was exasperated because I knew that my clothing budget was going to take a serious hit with three babies growing inside of me, and part of me was terrified. I knew I couldn't put off telling the Captain any longer – and I had no idea how he would take it.

"Yes sir, I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure thing, Olivia – give me ten minutes to get settled, check email and then come on in."

I nodded and watched him go in his office and close his door. "What am I going to say?" I whispered to Elliot.

"I thought we covered this?" he frowned at me.

"How much do you want me to tell him – he's going to ask me who the father is, El. He's going to know it's you even if I lie and say no – I've never been able to lie to Cap. He's like the father I never had, the father I always wanted-"

"Hey, hey, hey – calm down." El's hands came down on my shoulders. "It's going to be OK."

I knocked his hands off and backed up a step, wrapping my arms around myself. "You've really got to stop saying that. It's not true, you know. Nothing's going to be OK ever again."

He grinned at me. "Liv, you're panicking."

"Hell, yeah!"

"Don't, OK? I'm here for you, no matter what happens. Whatever you decide to tell him – whatever he says, we'll be OK."

"How can you say that? When this comes out your marriage will be over and Kathy will take your family away from you."

"You're my family now too."

I moaned and covered my face. "El-"

"Olivia?"

I whirled at the sound of Cragen's voice. "Yeah?"

"I thought you had something to tell me."

"I do." I glanced over my shoulder at my partner. "I'm coming."

* * *

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. What did you say?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm pregnant."

Cragen stared long and hard at me for a moment before he enveloped me in a hug. "Oh, Liv, I'm so happy for you."

Tears swam in my eyes and for a moment I let my chin rest on his shoulder. "Thank you, Don."

He pushed me back to look me in the eye. "How are you feeling?"

I winced. "Not too bad – a little morning sickness in the evening, some dizziness-" I saw worry flash across his face so I added hastily, "But it's nothing I can't handle, really, I swear. I'm fine."

"Well, I guess we're going to need to talk about staffing changes. You're going to need to ride a desk for awhile before your maternity leave starts-" he released me to walk back to his desk so he could look at his calendar. "Have you thought about what you're going to do after the baby's born?"

I sighed. "I love SVU, Don, you know that, but the hours-"

Cragen held up his hand. "Say no more. I understand. There's an opening in Computer Crimes – it would keep you here at the 1-6 and in touch with the victims. I could put in a good word for you."

"Thanks, Cap – I appreciate it."

He glanced out the window to see Elliot pretending to work. "I don't envy you breaking the news to your partner. I've never seen anyone work with him as well as you. From day one I knew I had a crackerjack team."

I nodded, my emotions too close to the surface to say anything more. "Well, I think I'll get back to work while I can." I turned to leave but Cragen's words stopped me cold.

"Olivia, who's the father?"

I trembled, my hand frozen on the doorknob. _So close. I was so close to escaping. _"You don't know him."

"Are you sure?"

I turned and looked my boss in the eye. "It was someone I met in Honduras on vacation – I don't know how to get in touch with him."

"So you're going to be raising this baby alone?"

"Yes – well, I hope I can count on the support of my family here at the 1-6."

Cragen smiled. "Of course you can, Liv." He frowned and looked out the window. "Does Elliot know?"

I squirmed. "He – yes, he knows."

Cragen's eyes narrowed. "How'd he take it?"

"He's happy for me."

"Olivia," Cragen said my name softly as he crossed the office to stand in front of me. "I get the feeling that there's a lot you're not telling me and that's fine – I really don't want to know. But I also get the feeling that the shit is going to hit the fan in the next few months and I'm a firm believer in being forewarned. So I'm only going to ask you this once and then we'll never speak of it again. Is Elliot the father?"

My eyes fluttered shut. "Yes."

* * *

**2 months later**

"What do you want for lunch, Baby girl?"

I shrugged. "I'm easy – as long as it's not Ralph's Pagoda."

"Ha, Ha, Ha – very funny, Liv," Munch grimaced from behind his stack of paperwork. "But I thought you admitted that was morning sickness and not food poisoning."

I laughed. "It was – but anyone who eats there is taking their life in their hands and I can't in good conscience do that now that I'm eating for four."

Fin shook his head. "I still can't believe you're carrying Trips."

I rubbed my baby bump. "At least I have an excuse for my appetite. Last night I ate an entire deep dish pizza by myself-"

"I thought Elliot was coming over to watch the game or something," Munch interrupted me.

I sighed. "He was but he texted me at the last minute and canceled. Kathy and he got into it again and she stormed out, leaving him home alone with the twins."

"Now you know why I'm divorced."

I laughed. "Yeah, but how many ex-wives do you have, John? You must have liked marriage enough to-"

"I beg you not to finish that sentence," Munch moaned.

"Yeah, me too," Fin added. "Don't get him started on marriage conspiracies."

"Marriage conspiracies?" I repeated in confusion. "I've never heard of such a thing."

"Really? Let me tell you about the one-"

"Don't!" Fin pointed his finger in Munch's direction. "We still haven't decided on lunch – that is much more important."

I laughed as my partner slammed through the doors, his face weary and his tread heavy. "Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late – but the wife was late and the twins-"

"El, it's alright. It's Saturday and we've barely made a dent in the paperwork."

"Yeah man, we saved you plenty," Munch waved to the stack on Stabler's desk.

Elliot grimaced. "I feel so loved." He dropped into his chair and scrubbed his face wearily.

Fin clapped a hand on John's shoulder. "Come on, let's go get lunch."

"Can I pick the place?"

"Hell no."

"But – it won't be from Ralph's, I swear."

"Yeah, where then?"

"Juan's Thai Palace?"

"Shit, man – we are not getting Thai food from a Mexican restaurant!"

Their voices faded away and I heard the elevator doors close on their arguing. Sighing in relief that the coast was clear, I stood up and stretched, kneading the small of my back. I had kicked off my low heeled boots hours ago so I padded on silent feet over to Elliot's desk and pulled myself up on it. My partner still had his face buried in his hands, but he had turned at the sound of my approach and as soon as I was seated, he removed one hand to place it on my bump, caressing it lovingly.

"Hi baby, how are you?" he spoke softly, and even though we both knew there were three of them in there, he always said 'baby', not 'babies'. A shiver went up my spine as I wondered, not for the first time, if he was talking to me as well as our children.

My hand covered his, stopping his motion. "The flutters grow more active every day, El. It won't be long and you'll be able to feel kicks."

He grinned. "I can't wait – you look tired, Liv. Are you getting enough sleep?"

I sighed. I didn't really want to tell him that I was still haunted by nightmares of not finding Maria in time. Then when I would manage to fall back asleep, I had dreams about our night in Honduras that left me aroused and unsatisfied. "It's just becoming more and more real with every passing day. I'm trying not to panic and I guess I'm lying awake at night thinking of all the things I have to do before the babies get here."

He smiled. "Liv – you don't have to have everything done tomorrow. Have you had a chance to look over that list of apartments I gave you?"

I nodded.

"Did you like any of them?"

"I didn't make appointments to look at them."

"You didn't-" he removed his hand from my belly and sat back in his chair. "Why not?"

"Because I can't afford them, El; I know I need more space but right now I just can't afford anything larger. All of those apartments cost an extra 250 to 500 dollars a month. Where am I supposed to come up with that kind of money?"

"From me – it's called child support, Liv."

A chill swept over me at his words. "I don't want your money, Elliot. I didn't ask you-"

"You didn't have to – please let me do this. It's the least I can do."

I slid off his desk slowly, my baby bump brushing against him. "The least you can do? Is that what this is about? You're buying me off? I'm just an obligation to you? Fuck you, Stabler." I turned away but he grabbed my arm, pulling me into him. His lips claimed mine in a fierce kiss and for a moment I let myself melt into him before I pulled away and smacked him across the face. "Don't ever kiss me again," I panted, wiping my lips. "Not until you're a free man and you've decided it's me that you want."

He smirked at me. "I thought it was obvious from the way I kissed you just now that I wanted you."

"No, what was obvious was the fact that you just tried to set me up in an apartment like a pimp does for one of his girls-"

"Olivia-"

I backed up a step. "No, stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you right now." I whirled on my heel and took a step towards my desk only to have the floor rise to meet me.

"Liv? LIV!"

The darkness closed around me as I heard my partner calling my name from a distance.

* * *

"Dr. Flowerday, I'm sorry that you had to open your office on a Saturday just because I fainted." I grimaced and shot a death glare at Elliot. "My partner here overreacts."

"He didn't overreact, Olivia."

I swallowed. "He didn't?"

"No. Your blood pressure is really high- how many times a week do you feel dizzy?"

I squirmed on the examining table, not wanting to meet my partner's eyes when I answered. "Five to seven."

"So – what you're saying is that you feel dizzy every day?"

"Yes." I flinched as Elliot swore from his chair in the corner of the room. "I didn't say anything because I thought it was normal."

Dr. Flowerday shook her head. "You're in the second trimester now, and feeling dizzy that often is a sign that something more serious could be going on."

My hand flitted down to my stomach. "Are my babies OK?"

"Let's take a listen to their heartbeats."

It took a couple of minutes, but soon the sound of galloping horses filled the room and I breathed a sigh of relief. My eyes flicked over to meet my partner's – were those tears in his eyes?

"Olivia, I know you're not going to like this – but I'm going to put you on bed rest for two weeks. I don't want you to leave your apartment and as much as possible, I want you to decrease the amount of stress in your life. We've got to see if this will get your blood pressure down-"

I licked my lips. "And if it doesn't?"

"One step at a time, all right? Bed rest for two weeks and then come back and see me."

* * *

Elliot didn't say a word on the way back to my apartment and I knew that must have just been killing him. I could see from the way his shoulders were set and his jaw was clenched that he was furious with me but because of what Dr. Flowerday had said about stress, he wasn't about to let me have it. I pitied the poor locker or punching bag that would be on the receiving end of his rage later.

"I'm going to take a shower and lie down. You can show yourself out."

"Olivia-"

I turned and stared at him. "What?"

"Is there anything I can get for you? I mean, Dr. Flowerday didn't want you leaving the apartment – can I go to the store for you?"

I sighed, hating to make him my errand boy but I knew that I also didn't have a choice at this point. "Thanks – I'll make a list if you wouldn't mind running down to the corner market?"

"I don't mind."

I scribbled out a list of essentials and handed him a signed check, which he frowned at. "What?"

"I can pay."

I sighed again. "Please don't argue with me about money now, El. We can talk about that and the apartment in two weeks. For now, please take the check and go – otherwise I'll call a delivery service and-"

He ripped the check from my hand. "Fine. You are the most stubborn, maddening, gorgeous woman I've ever met."

I swallowed and backed away as he raised his hands toward my face. "You can leave the groceries on the counter and I'll put them away-"

"Liv-"

I shook my head. "No. Listen to me. I think it's best if we get some distance from each other – use these two weeks to gain some perspective."

"I don't need any fucking perspective."

I laughed. "Oh yes, you do. You've been straddling two lives, El, and it has to stop. You've been playing daddy with me during the day at the precinct, rubbing my belly and talking to the trips – telling them how much fun you're going to have with them as soon as they're born. But then you go home to your wife and kids in Queens-" he tried to interrupt me but I held up my hand. "And I know you and Kathy are fighting again but you're still with her – that wedding ring is still on your finger. I won't be the 'other woman', Elliot. As much as it scares me to do this without you – I have to do what's best for my children. I have to focus on them now – and that means putting aside what I want."

"I remember telling you that when it comes to my children, I'm all in. Liv – these are my children too-"

I shook my head. "But they aren't your only children, and I can't be selfish. You have to get your own house in order, get some perspective – and I think you'll be able to think much more clearly if we're not in contact with each other for the next two weeks."

"Can I call you?"

"No - no calls, emails, or texts."

"Liv-"

I backed away from him. "I promise to let you know if I end up in the hospital, all right? Otherwise, I'll talk to you in two weeks." I turned and fled, shutting my bedroom door behind me. I waited until I heard the front door open and close before I slid to the ground, my sobs escaping.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews are LOVE.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So for those of you waiting for Elliot to pull his head out of his ass and leave Kathy - a bombshell is dropped in this chapter. Enjoy ;)**

* * *

"Thank you for coming. I know you probably don't do house calls-"

George smiled. "Well, since you're under house arrest-"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't remind me." I placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him and curled up on the couch, my own cup in front of me.

"You didn't have to make me tea, Olivia."

I shrugged. "It gives me something to do – don't you like tea?"

"Yes, I do – but we're supposed to be talking about you."

I sighed. "I'm fine – all right, I'm going stir crazy looking at the same four walls day in and day out and it's only been three days! Alex came by last night and we had a chick flick movie marathon so that broke up the monotony. And Munch and Fin are dropping by tonight if a body doesn't drop."

"What about Elliot?"

I winced. "I – I asked him to stay away."

George didn't say anything, just took a sip of tea and waited.

"Dr. Flowerday asked me to eliminate as much stress as possible and you have to admit that he's a huge stressor."

"So you think not seeing him will help your blood pressure?"

"Maybe? I don't know," I groaned. "All I know is that things can't keep going on the way they have, George, or I'll go crazy. When we're at the precinct it's like I can pretend he's with me, you know? And that's dangerous because he's not with me and the guys don't know he's the father – well, except for Cragen."

"How did he take the news?"

"He wasn't surprised – I shouldn't have tried to fool him in the first place. He hasn't breathed a word of it, hasn't brought it up since I told him. I guess he's waiting for the other shoe to drop like I am."

"What happens at the end of the day – when the work is done and everyone clocks out?"

"Sometimes Elliot comes back here with me to watch a ballgame or a movie and eat dinner and the charade continues. But more often than not, he heads home to Queens to his wife and kids and I come home alone, go to bed early and dream."

"You're still having the dreams then?"

I nodded. "I'm so tired all the time – I don't know if it's because of the pregnancy or because I don't get enough sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares about Maria, then spend a couple of hours trying to get back to sleep only to dream about Honduras."

"Why do you think Maria haunts you so?"

"The victims that are children always stay with me longer than the others. But Maria-" I swallowed the emotion. "I think what happened to me as a teenager, coupled with the fact that I wanted a child for so long and that I'm going to be a mother now – but not in the way I'd pictured it – I guess it's all hitting me hard."

"How did you picture it?"

I sipped my tea, cradling my cup. "I've never been romantic – and I don't think I've ever been in love, Doc – at least not until I met my partner. He's taught me so much about myself, love, and how wonderful it might be to have a family of my own someday. But please, don't tell him any of this – he's cocky enough."

George smiled.

"At first, I used to fantasize that Elliot was free to marry me and we could have that family together. I never allowed that fantasy to see the light of day – that was only a dream I whispered to myself in the darkness of the night. As the years past, the idea of having my own child never died – seeing the broken, scarred children of our cases made me want to rescue one and so I began to seriously consider the idea of adoption. It never occurred to me that the very job that inspired me would also be a stumbling block – until that door was shut." I shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about sperm banks yet because the idea of going through pregnancy and raising a baby alone scared me. I know, it doesn't make sense, Doc. But somehow, the idea of a six or seven year old sounded less daunting."

"The only thing that matters is that it makes sense to you, Olivia."

I laughed. "And here I am, five months pregnant with triplets, alone and scared out of my ever loving mind."

"Olivia, do you remember what you said to me the first time you came to see me?"

I shook my head.

"You said you weren't alone anymore – I don't think you were talking about Elliot."

"I wasn't," I said softly as I caressed my belly. "I love them so much – I'm just afraid I'll screw them up."

"Every new parent worries about that."

"Elliot wants to pay child support."

George blinked at the sudden change in topic. "What does that mean?"

"He gave me a list of apartments – mine is much too small for me and three babies. The problem is the rent. When I brought that up, he said he wanted to make up the difference and we argued. That's when I fainted and he took me to Dr. Flowerday."

There was a pause before George spoke. "Would it be so bad to let Elliot help? These are his kids too."

I sighed. "What happens when Kathy finds out? It makes me feel like I'm his mistress, Doc – a dirty little secret."

"Is that really what you're afraid of?"

I flinched. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Ask the hard questions."

He smiled. "It's my job – so, what are you really afraid of?"

"That if he sets me up in an apartment, I won't be able to control my emotions – hide how I feel. I'll want more."

"But you've been hiding your emotions for your entire partnership – what's changed now?"

I looked at him like he'd grown an extra head. "I know now exactly what I can't have – what I had for one night in Honduras. And even though he gave me something precious, it will never be enough."

* * *

"Liv, we're begging you. Please call your partner."

I looked at John over my slice of pizza. "Why? What's he done now?"

Fin snorted. "Baby Girl, what hasn't he done? He's busted an entire row of lockers, and today he slammed our suspect against the glass in the interrogation room – he nearly broke it. Cragen told him to take the rest of the week off. Now we're down another man."

"Yeah, I tried talking to him – to ask him what his problem was – and I thought he was going to slug me," John added.

I sighed. "Look, guys, I'm sorry that Elliot is having issues but I'm sure his home life is just-"

"He hasn't been home."

"What?" I blinked.

"He's been sleeping in the cribs ever since you were put on bed rest."

"I – that's crazy. I told him-"

"What?" Fin pounced, leaning forward.

"Nothing." I threw my wadded up napkin at him. "It's none of your business what I told him."

"I beg to differ, Liv. Obviously whatever you told him has had a direct influence on his attitude which has directly impacted our working atmosphere this week – which has been a living hell."

"I'm sorry, guys."

John shook his head. "We don't want an apology. Just call him."

* * *

After the boys left, I stared at my cell phone for an hour.

I had done the same thing every night since being confined to my apartment. I usually overcame the urge to call Elliot by calling Alex instead and talking until I was ready to go to bed. Then I'd fall asleep only to jerk awake from my nightmare about Maria. I wasn't fully awake before the phone was in my hand, my finger poised to call him. Fortunately, I always woke up before I pressed the button.

I wanted him with every fiber of my body. But I'd meant it when I said we needed the time apart and that there would be zero contact. I didn't want to back out now when we were only a week into things. I needed to be the strong one. So I took a hot shower and climbed into bed, closing my eyes in sleep.

"_This is the police. We know where you are-"_

"_No, you don't." Click._

I sat up in bed, my chest heaving, Richard's laughter ringing in my ears. My fingers groped for my phone on the nightstand. I didn't give my brain a chance to wake up before I pressed speed dial '2' and collapsed back against the pillows.

"Stabler."

"Hey."

"Liv? What's wrong? Are you OK – the babies-"

"Hey, I'm ok – I just – I had –" I was gasping for breath and it was ridiculous. The very sound of his voice was enough to ground me and I focused on my breathing.

"I'm on my way."

"No!" I clutched the phone to my ear. "I meant it, El, no contact."

"Uh, Liv? I hate to break it to you but we're on the phone and so that kind of throws your 'no contact' out the window."

I snorted. "I know - but don't come over, OK? Just stay on the line with me."

"OK. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have another dream about Maria?"

Tears pricked my eyes. "How did you know?"

He sighed. "Because I know you, Liv. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Let's talk about you – I heard Cragen suspended you today."

"How – oh, Munch and Fin told you."

"Elliot, what are you doing? Throwing a suspect against the glass?"

"Well, I tend to go a little crazy when my keeper's away."

I sighed. "Elliot."

"What do you want me to say, Liv? You tell me to stay away for two weeks and expect me to be OK with it?"

"I didn't expect you to go postal."

He snorted. "Then you don't know me very well."

"Munch told me you haven't gone home – what's up with that?"

"I thought you didn't want to have any serious discussions until after the two weeks was up."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you need to get some sleep – for our babies. Do you think you can do that?"

I curled up on my side. "Will you tell me a bedtime story?"

He chuckled. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Olivia and a handsome prince named Elliot. . . ."

* * *

"Going crazy yet?"

"Actually, no."

Alex dropped her chopsticks back in the takeout container and narrowed her eyes. "You talked to him."

I flushed and reached for another egg roll. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Remind me never to play poker with you, Benson."

"Hey! I'll have you know I have an excellent poker face – just not when it comes to Elliot." I blushed again as I said his name.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Good grief, at least tell me the two of you didn't have phone sex."

"Alex!"

She shrugged. "Well – with the way you're blushing, you seem guilty as sin about something."

"I'm feeling guilty about breaking down and calling him first."

"That's all?"

"Yes, that's all. Damn these pregnancy hormones."

Alex laughed. "So what happened?"

"Nothing happened. I had a nightmare and before I was fully awake, I called him. We talked for awhile and then he told me a bedtime story to help me fall back asleep."

Alex made a face and pushed her food away. "I may be sick. Do you have any idea how disgustingly cute the two of you are?"

"There is no us, Lex. He's married, remember."

"Not for too much longer, from what I hear."

"What have you heard?"

She shrugged. "Just that he went to see a friend of mine a couple of days ago that specializes in handling divorce cases."

I paled. _Is this what he was alluding to last night and wouldn't talk to me about? Were he and Kathy finally getting a divorce?_

"Liv, are you OK?"

"This is all my fault."

"The hell it is – it takes two, remember? He was the one that stuck his penis in you, Liv."

I flinched at Alex's coarse language but fired back. "And I was the one that spread my legs – I was a more than willing participant. If this is true, Kathy and the kids are going to hate me."

"If it's true – you finally have a shot of getting everything you've always wanted."

A lump of fear settled in my stomach. "Why doesn't that make me feel better?"

* * *

"Pre-eclampsia?" I repeated, trying to wrap my tongue around the word.

Dr. Flowerday nodded. "Your blood pressure is still elevated and you have protein in your urine – both of which indicate to me that you have this condition."

I licked my lips. "So what happens now?"

"I'm afraid your maternity leave is going to have to start today."

I groaned. "I'm going back on bed rest?"

"Modified bed rest – you can go for short walks, down to your corner store for groceries for example, but nothing too taxing. I will allow you to do some work IF your captain allows you to do paperwork from home – he will need to set up a delivery system and I don't want you to work more than four hours a day."

"Well, at least it's something."

Dr. Flowerday smiled. "Your babies are healthy. I have no reason to suspect that you won't carry to term for triplets, around 36 to 38 weeks. Because of the pre-eclampsia, we'll schedule a C-section."

I smiled. "Thank God. I wasn't looking forward to natural childbirth."

* * *

I was surprised when there was knock on my door that afternoon. Elliot was coming over to hear what Dr. Flowerday had said but I wasn't expecting him for hours yet. When I swung the door open, it was the last person I expected or wanted to see.

"Kathy."

"So it's true – you're pregnant."

"Won't you come in?"

She breezed past me and I took a deep breath in preparation for this confrontation before I let the door swing shut. "Can I get you something to-"

Kathy's arms enveloped me in a perfumed hug and I staggered slightly. "I'm so happy for you, Olivia. You must be thrilled."

I pulled away. "Um, overwhelmed is a better word. Kathy, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Ok. Come in and sit down."

We sat on opposite ends of the sofa and I stared at the beautiful blonde. I couldn't help but compare her fair complexion to my own dark one and I wondered silently if that was what drew Elliot's eye – simply the difference between us. Had he just needed to forget his wife and I was the nearest available woman?

"Elliot and I are getting a divorce."

Kathy's matter of fact statement drew me out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Kathy picked at her skirt. "I – I screwed up, Olivia. I had an affair with a doctor at the hospital."

My mouth fell open. Kathy cheated on Elliot? I couldn't imagine any woman on the planet if they were married to Elliot cheating on him. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"I don't love him but it's been so long since Elliot and I – I just needed to feel loved, you know?"

I squirmed again. "Kathy, why are you telling me all this? It's really not my business."

Kathy grabbed my hand. "You're his partner – he talks to you."

_Not about this. _I shook my head. "Not about his home life. Not about you and the kids."

"But you know when something's bothering him. Cragen called to ask me what was up with him – I guess he had a really bad week at work and I told him I didn't know because I hadn't seen him. I didn't want to involve the captain in our problems. But you – you can talk to him. Tell Elliot I'm sorry. Tell him I want to give our marriage another shot."

The dizziness threatened to overwhelm me. "Kathy, I-" I closed my eyes, unsure whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of the situation. "You want me to talk to Elliot about saving your marriage."

Katy nodded, squeezing my hand.

I wanted to laugh in her face. She'd cheated on him – but then so had he. Did I dare tell her that? Tell her that she was sitting on the couch with her husband's mistress and that the babies I was carrying belonged to Elliot? I looked at her hopeful face and bit my tongue. It wasn't my place – it was his.

I nodded. "I'll talk to him."

* * *

**A/N: Whoa - can you believe Kathy cheated? And what will Olivia say to Elliot? Final chapter coming up! Reviews are LOVE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry I made you wait - RL exploded for a bit. So without further delay, enjoy the ending!**

* * *

"I brought dinner."

I looked at the grocery bags in confusion. "From where?"

"Nowhere – I'm going to cook."

"Elliot-"

"Don't argue with me. When's the last time you had a home cooked meal?"

I planted my fists on my hips. "I made dinner just last night."

He opened the fridge and looked inside. "Hamburger helper? Liv, that's not what I mean."

I rolled my eyes. "OK then, what did you have in mind?"

He shooed me out of my own kitchen. "You'll see, just go relax."

I went to lie down and the next thing I knew, he was shaking my shoulder. "Liv, baby, dinner's ready. Do you want me to put your plate in the oven to keep warm?"

I rubbed my eyes sleepily. "No, I'm awake and it smells incredible." I swung my feet over the side and stood, ignoring the fact that Elliot was there in case I felt dizzy. "Did you just call me 'baby'?"

"No, I was talking to the babies."

I dropped it but I had noticed that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring tonight. Kathy had been wearing hers earlier today and I knew the divorce wasn't finalized but seeing Elliot's bare ring finger did funny things to my insides.

After a delicious meal, Elliot made my tea and bundled me up in blankets on the couch, peppering me with questions about my appointment. I repeated word for word what Dr. Flowerday had said and he listened intently, rubbing my baby bump under the blanket mound.

When I finished my narrative, I asked him, "Did Kathy have pre-eclampsia?"

He shook his head.

"So I guess this is uncharted territory for both of us."

One of the babies kicked under his hand and he grinned. "They're OK, Liv."

"Are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kathy stopped by today."

His hand stilled on my belly. "What did she want?"

"She wanted me to tell you she's sorry and to give your marriage another shot."

He snorted. "Did she tell you she slept with some doctor at the hospital?"

I nodded.

"Did she also tell you she's pregnant?"

I shook my head as I began to laugh. Elliot looked at me in surprise as I laughed until the tears rolled down my face. "I'm sorry," I gasped. "But you've got to laugh at the similarities! It's uncanny."

He grinned. "I suppose – but it still doesn't excuse the fact that she cheated on me."

I bumped his shoulder with mine. "So did you."

"But she doesn't even love the guy – not like I-"

I placed my hand over his mouth. "Don't, El. Please."

He captured my fingers in his. "Why not? Liv, surely you know by now how I feel."

"Please – you're not free and I'm not strong enough to fight you off if you voice your feelings."

He cupped the side of my face and I trembled under his touch. "I'd never force myself on you, Olivia. But I didn't think I had to-" he grinned.

I slapped his chest. "You cocky bastard! No, you don't have to – but I'm not starting something with you until you're free-"

"Uh, Liv?" His eyes flitted down to my stomach. "I think we're well past the point of starting something."

I laughed. "I mean something permanent. I mean – that is – if you want-" I stammered.

He moved fast and placed a feather light kiss on my lips, moving away before I could blink. "Listen to me. I didn't tell you how much I wanted to be with you when we came back from Honduras because I knew what you'd say – that you'd want me to give my marriage to Kathy another chance. So I went home and tried; but everything went to hell. Kathy told me she'd cheated and was pregnant with another man's baby and then you told me you were pregnant. It took me awhile to get my feet back under me but never doubt that you are what I want, Liv. So if you could be patient just a little while longer-"

I rolled my eyes. "I've been patient for seven years, Stabler. I think I can hold out a little longer."

* * *

**3 months later**

"Liv, baby? Where are you?"

I sighed as I heard the sound of Elliot removing his badge and dropping it and his keys on the little table by the front door. He was early and I was glad – it was getting increasingly hard to do even simple things without assistance. I knew it had been a mistake to get down here but I'd really wanted to finish penciling in these stencils for Alex – I just didn't think about how I was going to get back up. Fortunately, my sexy partner seemed to be able to read my mind and know when I needed him to come by and check on me – like now.

I heard his chuckle behind me and I knew he was going to tease me for a bit. "However did you manage to get down there?"

I turned and glared at him over my shoulder. "Getting down wasn't the problem, El – getting up is!"

"You're certainly in a predicament – how long have you been down there?"

"What the hell difference does that make?"

"Just wondered how grateful you're going to be for my help."

I narrowed my eyes dangerously. "So help me, Stabler, if you don't get your ass over here right now-"

I had barely gotten the word 'ass' out of my mouth before Elliot was sweeping me up into his arms. "All you had to do was ask nicely."

I snorted. "Put me down before you throw your back out."

He laughed. "Liv, I can assure you – this is what I've been weight training for."

I slapped his chest as he set me down on the bed. "So you finally admit it – you planned to knock me up that night in Honduras."

He leaned over me, being careful to hold his weight off me with his elbows. "Will you shoot me if I say yes?"

My eyes misted over as I shook my head.

"I'll admit I didn't intend to give you a triple tap-"

I reached up and wound my arms around his neck. "I hope not."

"Liv-"

"What?"

"If you don't let me go, I can't be held responsible for my body's reaction to you."

I smiled. "It's OK, El. You have my permission to kiss me."

"Thank God." His lips crashed into mine and it was even better than I remembered. I don't know if it was my hormones or the fact that it had been so long since we'd shared this intimate contact but I could feel every cell of my body coming alive with the single touch of his lips and tongue against mine. Elliot moaned into my mouth as he rolled to the side and I followed, hooking my ankle around his leg, trying to bring our lower bodies into closer contact. I groaned in frustration as my huge belly got in the way and we broke apart, laughing.

"There seems to be something in the way this time," Elliot grinned into my eyes, kissing the tip of my nose. "I have news."

I arched my eyebrows. "Is that why you dropped by early?"

He nodded as he pulled something from his back pocket. "Here."

I shook my head, not wanting to remove my arms from around him. "Tell me."

"It's the divorce papers – I'm a free man."

My lips crashed back onto his and for several minutes we exchanged hungry, needy kisses. When we next parted for air, Elliot breathed into the nape of my neck, "I love you, Liv."

Tears pricked at my eyes. His actions over the past few months had said it many times but this was the first time he'd actually said the words. He'd waited until the divorce was finalized and he was free to say the words I'd longed to hear and I was speechless. I opened my mouth to say them back when I felt a slight cramp in my lower abdomen and a gush of wetness.

"Elliot-" I jerked against him and he jumped back in surprise.

"Baby, your water broke. We have to get you to the hospital."

* * *

Things happened fast after that. Elliot called Dr. Flowerday and hustled me into his sedan out front and before I knew it, we were all gowned up and in the delivery room. My C-section wasn't scheduled until next week, but babies don't care about schedules. Elliot was almost giddy with excitement and Dr. Flowerday had to threaten to evict him before he promised to behave.

Our identical twin girls, Serena and Sara were born first and came screaming into the world. Elliot was already crying.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you like this with all your kids?"

He kissed my forehead. "Yes."

Our son took his own sweet time, just like his father. It wasn't until Dr. Flowerday said that the cord was wrapped around his neck that I panicked and Elliot grabbed my hands, telling me to breathe. Finally our son, Elliot Stabler Jr. joined his sisters and I could relax.

"They all look healthy and alert, Olivia. Let us check them out and then you can see them, all right?"

I nodded wearily, fighting sleep.

"You did great, mama."

I smiled up at Elliot.

"Dr. Flowerday, come back," one of the nurses called out to my doctor. "She's bleeding – and I can't stop it."

"What's wrong?" I heard Elliot say as the darkness enclosed me.

"Olivia? Olivia, stay with us."

* * *

My eyes fluttered open and landed on the most beautiful sight in the world: Elliot with two of our babies in his arms, one wrapped in a pink blanket, the other in a blue blanket.

"Hi daddy."

He turned at the sound of my voice and I was shocked to see his red, puffy eyes. "Liv, thank God." He crossed to my side, leaned over the rail and kissed my cheek.

"El, what's wrong? Are the babies-"

"They're fine – better than fine, perfect."

I breathed out slowly as I reached for the bed control to sit up. "Then what's wrong?" I reached out for one of the babies and Elliot placed one of our daughters in my arms. "Who is this?"

"Serena. The nurses just took Sara to feed her since you weren't awake yet."

I nodded and smiled as Serena opened her eyes: crystal blue ones like her daddy's. "She has your eyes, El."

He nodded. "The girls have my eyes and Eli has yours."

I frowned. "Eli?"

"I thought it might be a good nickname – if you call us both El, we'll get confused." He placed our son in my other arm and cupped my face. "I thought I'd lost you."

"What happened, El?"

He perched on the edge of the bed. "You were bleeding out – Dr. Flowerday had a hell of a time getting it back under control. In the end, she had to perform an emergency hysterectomy."

My mind was whirling. "Wait – I don't have a uterus anymore?"

Elliot stood up and began to pace. "We were losing you, Liv. They shoved this consent form at me and I wasn't going to lose you – not after we've just found each other-"

"El, sit down." I waited until he rejoined me on the bed. "I'm OK with it – I already have three children – I don't need anymore."

He leaned forward and kissed me softly. "I was so worried you'd be mad at me."

I shook my head. "Silly man – didn't you think that we'd have our hands full with triplets?"

He shrugged. "I thought you'd want to keep your options open."

I smiled. "I'm good."

A nurse walked in just then with Sara. "Good to see you awake, Ms. Benson. Here's Sara, dry and fed and ready to be tucked in but I thought you might want to see her first. Do you want me to take one of those off your hands?"

I sighed. "No – but since I don't have three arms-" I held out Serena. "She's getting fussy – maybe she's hungry."

The nurse smiled. "I'll take good care of her. Maybe you can try nursing your son in a little bit?"

I nodded as I settled Sara into my side. "All right."

The nurse left as Elliot shifted to sit beside me, draping his arm around my shoulders. "Are you ready to see the rest of your family yet?"

I gasped. "Are they in the waiting room?"

He nodded. "I've been keeping everyone at bay until you woke up – I wanted you to see them first."

I reached up to touch his cheek. "I love you, El."

He leaned down and swiftly captured my lips with his. "I know my divorce was just finalized and you just gave birth to triplets but one day – would you consider marrying me?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

I grinned. "On if you ask me or not."

He grinned. "And if I do ask?"

I shook my head. "That's cheating, Stabler. When I see a ring in front of me and you down on one knee, then and only then, will you get your answer."

"One knee? Liv, you know I have bad knees."

"Ok, the whole one knee thing can be negotiated but there definitely has to be a ring."

"You mean like this?"

"Elliot," I breathed his name softly, staring at the ring in his hand. The emerald surrounded by diamonds winked at me and I looked up into his face, all the teasing having fallen away.

"Olivia Benson, you are the most stubborn, infuriating, gorgeous woman I have ever met. The day Cragen assigned you to be my partner was the happiest day of my life. No one before or after you has been able to put up with my shit or calm me down with just a look or a touch of the hand the way you can. We have been in sync since day one and that should have been a big clue to the both of us that we are meant to be partners for life. I know we've done this ass backwards and I should have waited to make love to you, to have a family with you until I was free – but I don't regret doing either of those things, no matter the order in which they happened. Please say you'll be my wife."

I leaned over, breathing against his lips, "Yes," before pressing my lips to his. Sara and Eli squawked between us and we broke apart to soothe them.

"It's about damn time, Stabler!" Fin crowed and we turned to see our SVU family smiling at us from the doorway.

"Guys, I told you to-"

Cragen waved the words away as he strode into the room, reaching for Sara. "We got tired of waiting. Hello, sweetheart, I'm Grandpa Don."

Alex, Fin, and Munch were fighting over Eli and I sighed in contentment as Elliot slipped the ring over my finger, kissing the back of my hand. Yes, I could have done this alone with the support of my family but having Elliot by my side made everything so much easier – just like it had been from day one.

I turned to my fiancé. "Is this something partners do?" I waved my ring at him.

He grinned. "It's something we do."

* * *

**A/N: I'd love to hear final thoughts - Reviews are LOVE.**


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